Outside In…… All Wrong

Quiet Fire’s Jeanette Paul(1st), Lauren Williams(2nd) Phoenix Invitational

I often wonder as I watch kids run around the track, jump into sand, throw very heavy medal objects  into the wind and throw what amounts to is a long spear, just how they are manging the process of competition. Do they enjoy the journey as much as the prize. I always ask them did you have fun?

When Lauren won the 2009 Bantam Girl Long Jump I believe it was her  one of her most meaningful wins to date, Championship or season competition. The reason I know this is because she declared a year previous  if I got her the help she would do her best and get Gold.  She started out rough with 2 scratches and one remaining jump to continue in the competition talk about your back against the wall… This is a big declaration from such a little kid of 9 at the time. I knew that the challenge of doing something no one expected her to do was as great as the opportunity to do it. That moment was a completely inside out moment.

She wanted to do it for herself for the challenge,for the Gold. I see many kids quit sports to soon when they are unable to beat their top rival of the moment. Falsely believing that if they are not winning they are losers…..How far from the truth  and reality of sports that is. No one wins all the time nor would you want to. Winning can become just as monotonous when the proper motivation isn’t cultivated in sports.

External rewards like medals trophies and popularity are nice in there place, but internal gratification is the only sustaining motive to continue the hard work that it takes to be an active part of sports on going. It’s the live to fight another day.

The outside in mentality  in sports and life never works well long term. At some point the meaning is lost and so is the drive to continue the pace to satisfaction, for hard work  for hard works sake. Striving from the inside causes one to reach for mastery not medals,realizing and appreciating what real winning is about,welcoming the best competition on that day to bring all they have head to head no excuses no regrets.

I recall in the 2008 Olympics in the 200m dash an American one won the  bronze medal due to a lane violation. Within a day he gave the medal to the original winner because he knew he didn’t earn it that day. A true athlete feels his best when he has won on a completely even playing field. It wasn’t the medal that motivated him it was the ability to win on a equal playing field. “Inside Out Motivation”.

These inside motivators are more likely to sustain  youth  athletes over time and this allows them to grow and enjoy sports for a life time .

What this means forward me you as sports parents,is that we want our kids to be motivated for the right reasons and stay in sports for as long as possible,  We need to identify ways to cultivate this desire and plan long term for success in this area . Here are a few how to’s to get you started

• We must think internal rewards-not external.
• Don’t offer to pay them for winning medals all the time.
• Don’t focus only on garnering scholarships opportunities.
• Never suggest that they only do well if they win.
• Help them feel motivated from within my focusing on small goals–such as understanding where they are at and making personal goals for themselves in time or distance
• Being  a good team mate, encouraging other team mates and competitors on the journey.
• Do the same thing after every game–win or lose. That might mean
  taking kids out for ice cream–win or lose.
• Help them understand why they like track. For example, they
  might like talking with friends, feeling challenged by the older competitor,
  or learning new skills.
• Focus on these positive feelings. help remind them how much fun they had at previous Championships or seasonal meets.
• Remind them of the journey they have had each season the fun on and off the track
• Encourage them to what lies ahead

Yesterday, when I took Lauren to practice she beat me to the car saying “Come on Mom the twins will be there before us”. When she got there they were laughing and ready to work. That moment was priceless.She came home smiling and saying “we had so much fun Mom” . Now that was an inside out moment to put in the bank of memories for the future. Our Journey to the JO’s continues….